At first glance, this looks like a random picture of a street in my neighbourhood after an obvious snowfall. But this picture is deeper than that for me. Before moving to the reason why, let’s analyse the picture a bit. We can see that the snow has been cleared from the road to allow drivers... Continue Reading →
The wealth and value of a song or hymn can many times be gauged by its permanence (or lack thereof).Exploring Worship by Bob Sorge The initial plan was to write this second part a few weeks after the first, but this clearly didn’t happen. Months down the line, I think I finally decided let the... Continue Reading →
I have been fortunate enough to have a lot of people in my circle that I know on different levels, some are closer to me than others. Up until recently, I had never really been comfortable with using the word “friend” to describe someone unless they used the same word to describe me. For me,... Continue Reading →
Over the past month or so, I’ve been thinking about this topic and more ideas kept flowing the more I procrastinated writing. One day, I was having a conversation with my dad (the singer in the foreground -- way back when) as we drove to a nearby town. I had started playing contemporary Christian music... Continue Reading →
Over the past couple of months, I’ve been thinking about the idea of the truth. What is a truth or should I say, what is the truth? Is it simply the opposite of a lie or is there more to it than that? 'Could there be multiple truths with small ts that can all be... Continue Reading →
One thing I enjoy doing anytime I’m home is looking through old family photos. I would unearth these gems from their dark compartment below the TV stand, set them up in a well-lit area and simply soak in moments that were. It’s almost as if these pieces of paper can never be squeezed dry of... Continue Reading →
Collab with Mischka Poonasamy. Check out {thoughtsofagrowingwoman.wordpress.com}
How I landed up here -Toluwani (Trinity Hub Conversations)
When I was about 6 years old. I went on a class excursion to my local hospital in Ibadan, Nigeria. We got to meet these inspiring doctors doing their part to help people live more comfortable lives. They were all dressed in immaculate white and this made them seem saintly with special connections to higher powers of healing. There was an air of perfection and prestige in the way they carried themselves. Obviously, these were markers of some exclusive status I just had to reach. It was a decision that would bring me to where I am today.
That’s what an elaborate lie sounds like. But I’m not here to lie to you.
I don’t remember ever going to the hospital with my classmates –doubt that would have been fun. My childhood memories of hospitals are bluntly blurry with sharp needles…
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I was lost when You found me here You pulled me close and held me near... He gave me wings so I could fly And gave me a song to colour the sky I’ve been wanting to write about grace for months, but I never got to it because I found it too complicated to... Continue Reading →
Amazing grace How sweet the sound That saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now I am…still…lost. Lost? Yes, I am. Well, that’s how I feel. My life has been eventful. So many turns, twists, and dead-ends. Traffic lights flashing amber and red… GPS rerouting. Lost on a winding road. Seems like... Continue Reading →
He knows you. Of course, He knows you. He made you. He put thought and care and a relentless outpouring of love into forming your very being. You are an intricately and delicately crafted creature. He knows what you need; better than you know. He knows what you can handle, and He is teaching you... Continue Reading →
Bruised and suffering from fatigue The truth is limited in distant ability Eyes strained by effluent evidence intrigues Reason bound by strong emotion for eternity Lies harness from the heart all effort The mirage of hope moving on is clearer Dehydrated from the love evaporating in spirit The soul refuses to accept that in the... Continue Reading →
So it’s 4th year of medical school and ‘it’s all very exciting’ with blood (lots of it), signatures, needles and patients who call you doctor (I like that, actually). It’s been quite interesting so far, but I wouldn’t describe it as fun. The clinical scene can be busy, boring or bracing depending on the time... Continue Reading →
Overflowing with ideas of what to write on How to write it? What to write on? Style, pattern, rhyme scheme keep the name Sean? My return to poetry the prodigal son? Only this time I am my own father whose son's arrival he waits upon Watch this space for more by Sean Mashau
He picks me up Smiles at me when I slip up Looks at me knowing He'll cheer me up But all I feel is guilt and shame Knowing that all I do that brings Him pain Doesn't change the fact that He loves me the same You see I've been on this journey Felt how... Continue Reading →
Over the past year, I’ve had the opportunity to serve on my church’s music team. As I look back now, I can confidently say that this was an experience I found truly rewarding. There are three points I want to share about worship. More than a song I have a collection of books I started reading... Continue Reading →
It's not that I don't But it's because I do Because these feelings never left These feelings never phased Walking on a thin line That thin line On a page Of my deep confessions My heart loved your soul Your mind Your body Your all It takes time Distance Intermissions And forgiveness To acknowledge the... Continue Reading →
It’s that time again, when we reflect on events that unfolded during the year. We celebrate goals achieved and consider those unachieved. In all this, we also brace ourselves for the fresh clean start of a new year, and all the responsibilities that come with this. 2018 has taught me a couple of lessons and... Continue Reading →
I was recently asked what my first encounter with Hip-Hop music was. To be honest I do not remember the first time I heard Hip-Hop music but I do remember how I began to develop an interest in it. I believe the reason this genre of music stood out to me is the same reason... Continue Reading →
Look up Can you not see the sun rise? And with it comes warmth With it comes hope With it come light With it comes life It’s a new day Look up Look up Do you not see The great mountain heights ? That are yours to conquer That are yours to reach There’s more... Continue Reading →
Certain aspects of life can get blurry sometimes. The road ahead appears vague and there is little sense of direction. Planning is difficult because all that’s available is the now and each moment is forced to become its own planner. ‘Clarity’ is what I hope and pray for in these situations. It eloquently captures that... Continue Reading →
Another knock, another punch another gasp for air. You fall to the floor. You don't make a sound. You shed a tear to mamma as a plea to stop this man. I can't imagine your pain. As you watch your husband beat on your children, Every throw, every punch, every kick you see, Hurts more... Continue Reading →
I know a boy who got swallowed by the sky, By the flashing lights I knew a man who got lost in the big dark blue And came out alive I knew a boy I knew a man that looked a lot like you I knew a time I knew a place that felt a... Continue Reading →
I would describe a process as a challenge or a period of uncertainty that takes place to move someone from one point in life to another. It can be as straightforward as a school exam or as complicated as dealing with the death of a loved one. These are all processes that produce outcomes in... Continue Reading →
You revealed yourself when I least expected it. You gave me love when I thought I had it. Jesus Please! Come again. You're invited to take your place. I want to know you as David did. With a heart after your own and in a fleeting moment I needed it. A glimpse of Heaven. A... Continue Reading →
For a long time now, I’ve being fascinated by the idea of humility. To be honest, I think it’s quite an attractive quality. The idea of thinking less of yourself and more of others. The chest to admit that you’re in the wrong or request help when you’re known to always have your life in... Continue Reading →
I used to wait all night to think of you Now I write simple pieces as I wait for you The days are long the nights are short When I'm with you But that's in my mind So please don't mind me If your love was a star You would always keep me warmed If... Continue Reading →
It’s not unusual, especially in a city like Cape Town, to meet individuals with very complicated narratives about where they’d grown up, their place of birth and the language(s) they understand. I guess, in some strange sense, this is a consequence of diversity. But I’m not complaining. I genuinely enjoy speaking to people about their... Continue Reading →
Shout out to my atheist friends Who think that the universe has no beginning or end But I thought y’all dealt with facts Or is looking smart and intelligent just a fancy act? If infinity is true then why we in the present then? How did we ever get here? Because infinity is a long... Continue Reading →
It’s something I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fully grasp. Honestly, I find it overwhelming how you immerse me in it day by day; how it never seems to fade away irrespective of my greatest of sins. I just don’t understand why you continue to pour it out so generously, drenching me, reminding... Continue Reading →
In true spirit of the title of the blog “Conversations with myself”, I have deemed it necessary to abandon the argumentative essay paradigm that I had grown to love over the course of my high school career. As a university student, I have grown to appreciate it even more in the form of academic reports... Continue Reading →
What I found incredibly inspiring was the glimmer of hope in her eyes as she narrated this sad story to me. Perhaps it was a permanent acceptance of her daughter’s unfortunate fate. It was to depart only 30 minutes later than planned, but this imperfection was just too much to ignore, forgive. Forget the circumstances that led... Continue Reading →
A couple of days back, I came across a book entitled ‘To Know Him’ by Gloria Copeland in my parents’ room. So far, it’s been an enlightening and refreshing read -- there’s just no way I’m leaving it at home! The author touched on something that I feel is perfect to end off this 3-part... Continue Reading →
I tried writing one continuous text but my heart was too confused to will my brain to think linearly. Growth. At the start of 2017 I looked excitedly at all that lay ahead and decided that it would be a year of growth. I then made it my prayer: God, grow me this year. Eleven... Continue Reading →
Growing up, an actor I loved and idolised a lot was Jackie Chan. I watched a lot of his movies as a kid and grew up to appreciate him more as an adult. One of the things I admired about Jackie Chan is that he performed all the stunts for his movies. His movies are... Continue Reading →
The word ‘father’ unlocks childhood memories of abuse, absence and alcohol for some of us. For others, it rhymes with love, care and protection. In many families, ‘father’ echoes with discipline and respect. Imagine how much more diverse perspectives we can garner if we discuss love, friend, king, lord, helper, rock and the many other names used to... Continue Reading →
I had always been independent, at least that is what I have come to believe. As a child, I don’t ever remember depending on anyone for anything that I could get or do for myself. That, coupled with my determination was to be expected considering that I was raised in a family of strong willed... Continue Reading →
{Written with Lehlohonolo Richard Ntlatlapo} When taking in that very first refreshing breath, which travels down the respiratory tract to expand the small sacks housed within a tiny chest… hope is born. Wrapped within a tiny cute little human, this innate hope teems with a desperate curiosity of what tomorrow holds. What concerns me about... Continue Reading →
I borrowed a book entitled ‘The Shack’ a couple of weeks back and I really struggled to read it. To be honest, I was quite lazy to read because yeah, I find reading to be quite a mission sometimes. Perhaps it’s because I wasn’t an avid reader in school -- novels just never appealed to... Continue Reading →
I found myself scrambling through various websites on the internet. What I was searching for was a lost piece of treasure. A deeply knitted piece of heritage in the sands of time. When I finally found what I was looking for, I sat marvelling at it. Zimbabwean music from the 1970s. Not just any type... Continue Reading →
A couple of weeks back I started reading a book (well it’s more of a 40 day devotional) entitled ‘THE PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE’ by Rick Warren and so far it’s been quite inspiring. In a nutshell, it’s a guide to finding God’s purpose for your life (check out that post sometime) -- figuring out what on earth you are here... Continue Reading →
Do you ever have times when you wish you could ‘unsee’ some things that you saw, undo things you did, tear off some pages you wrote? Don’t you sometimes think of experiences you wish you never had, situations you wish you never went through, people you wish you could ‘unmeet’, connections you wish you could... Continue Reading →
As a young South African woman, I wear multiple hats. I may introduce myself as a young Black woman who is fighting to be recognised in a society that has always side-lined my kind. Equally so, I may choose to address you as a young vibrant girl who comes from an area in Estcourt known... Continue Reading →
Recently, I started watching Earl Blackman’s YouTube Videos, and I’ve got to admit, they’ve really spoken to me. There’s just something unconventional about the familiar spaces in which he shoots and how relaxed he is while speaking about important life issues. I’m not saying this is a bad thing, but…well yeah, I was surprised at... Continue Reading →
We are part of a generation that is very curious. We ask questions about everything and anything. We challenge ideas, terms, definitions and functions. We scrutinise and analyse everything in an attempt to find answers to frequently asked questions. One of the questions that still plague us as a people is "what exactly does it... Continue Reading →
When I was around 11 or 12 years old, my dad started teaching me how to play the keyboard. Yeah that was quite an unforgettable experience – having your father as your music teacher. Now having a father who is both Nigerian and a pastor (a formidable combination) makes it an interestingly unforgettable experience. Believe me when I... Continue Reading →
The way you touch my inner, deepest me in a way that only a select few can. Maybe it’s the relaxing smooth strings that introduce you, forcing me to close my eyes to fully appreciate your tasteful tune. It’s actually quite funny — the thought that listening with open eyes taints sounds and diminishes their quality. The thought... Continue Reading →
What would life be like without a physical body, no skin, no nudity, no limbs to manoeuvre, heart to beat, face to present, no external beauty? Just the inner you, vulnerable without protection. It’s quite a perplexing thought because we’ve always had our bodies, even before we beheld light of day, while we were asleep,... Continue Reading →
Life, a simple word yet one with an intricate meaning – intriguing. Life is more of a conundrum, a saga, but most importantly, I see it as an experience full of adventures. Today, I would like to share the story of an 18 year old, who thought he'd never survive being exposed to the world as... Continue Reading →
The ringing vibration of the alarm disturbs my peaceful rest, but as usual, the stimulation falls short as I still lack the energy to detach my trunk from the magnet of a bed. I lie inert, motionless for thirty minutes, slowly dissolving back into sweet slumber, only to have the same sonorous sound, deny me... Continue Reading →
What is purpose and how do you discover it? Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been battling with this thought, exploring it to squeeze out a definite answer, but producing nothing substantial. Honestly, I feel that it is too broad, too multifaceted a question to ask and answer, but still important all the same. With... Continue Reading →
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